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The reason why i am happy!!

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For those of you who are wondering who is the guy that is making me happy all these months? well above is a video montage i created. he is the reason why people see me smiling every day...he is the reason why my life is just in bliss...he is the reason why i feel so alive...he is the most amazing guy i have ever met! he took a chance with me...and we are still going strong. he has believed in me whenever i started to doubt myself...he has encouraged me that nothing is wrong with me. and that i am beautiful in his eyes. everytime id hear a nice and happy slow song...i get emotional. it is only because there is someone who will like me for who i am....someone who will care about me as much as i care about him...someone who will take care of me as i will take care of him...someone who is equal to me as i am to him. i thought i would never meet a guy who understands me from deep within until i met him!! despite the arguments we have...i am still happy...happy that he is still here with me. and thats all should matter. he doesnt run away from problems...he doesnt bullshiet me....he doesnt hide from the truth...thats what makes him a challenge. and i like the challenge!! if you dont know by now...i am happy!!

to the most amazing guy ever:

thank you babe!! you have made me feel special in every way!! you always say that i am beautiful to you even though sometimes i doubt myself...you always believed in me no matter what. you have never left me for any thing. and because you and i are taking our time...i enjoy every minute i spend with you. i love the fact that we are still in that "getting to know you" phase...but at the same time...i feel like i have known you forever. you wonder why i am just posting our pictures up...well you mean the world to me!! plus...i needed a lot of pictures of us to do the montage lol i would not have traded you for another guy!! all i want to do is be with you and share our dreams and goals together....be one in heart...it is you who i want to be with...you who comes home with me...you are the KING in my life. we have built a foundation for our happiness together. as each month passes...we start to build a home together in our hearts. we will know when it will be complete. but for now...we shall continue this journey of ours one day at a time! a journey that i would like to last for a very long time!!

thank you babe for being you and not changing who you are. thank you for being in my life as well as making me feel like a whole again!! i am proud to know you...and to have you in my life! hell i feel lucky to have you!!! thank you for everything...for YOU ARE MY EVERYTHING!!!

most of you already know my whole life story.  A story that is filled with tragedies but in the end overcoming those tragedies.  Most of you know how much i have been hurt in the past...one asshole to another.  although...some are not assholes...some are friends who i can confide in when i need them.  For a while, i have thought that it was done and over with my life.  That i will not be happy with someone.  or that i wont have a family of my own or get married.  The only that have always kept me alive and going are my family and my close friends.  My best friends who have helped me get through the hardships of life.  I do return the favor of being there for them as well.  it works both ways.  Just when I thought I would never be happy...until I met him.  He has made me happy and makes me feel secured with no harm in my way.  he has been understanding of me and my life's situation.  it upsets him when there are things that stops me from showing my real feelings....it upsets him when tears go down my face....it upsets him when i am not in his arms feeling comforted that my heart onloy beats for him.  Yes we have been dating for a little over a month now.  Taking our time is the best!  It has made us feel for each other more than we should.  But regardless, all we both know is that we are happy with being each other.  The smile on his face, his beautiful eyes that lights up when he sees me, the gazes in his eyes...i mean...what more can i want?  he took a chance with me whether hes ready or not.  he knows he didnt want to pass up the opportunity that will make him happy.  i didnt want to pass that either...but it is a risk to take.  a risk that we have to be careful of.  i know it only has been a month...but he has shown me in many ways that he is not leaving me...that he is very understanding of me.  i know i have said this before...how understands me and all...but he really does.  he respects me sooo much that its a challenge for him.  he has been hurt as bad as i have been.  he hasnt been with anyone for a long time.  and when hes with me, i can see how happy he is.  as long as i know i am happy...and that i make him happy....life is good!  i just pray that one day, things will get better than it is now.  dont get me wrong, things are really good right now....but i always want to strive to make it better than it is...ya kno???   i know that there are complications for us, but we try to find our ways to work around those complications. 

i have already encountered a complication..  it was with another guy.  i had feelings for him and he had feelings for me.  all he needed to do was step up...whether he was ready or not...he should have stepped up.  yea you can wait for a person for however long you want.  but see...i have waited for him for 2 years...i am sorry but i am done.  i am not gonna sit around here and constantly wait for him.  someone entered my life and he just took a big risk and went at it.  AND hes not ready either but at the same time, he didnt want to lose me. and because that he took that chance...he and i are very happy.  to the one who wanted me to wait...i am sorry but i have waited for you too long.  i hope that our friendship is still in place.  but it is up to you if you want to still be friends. 

to the one who already has my heart....i thank you for entering my life the way you did.  although we did start our as a playful married couple.  i thank you for understanding me and respecting me in every way.  you feel that you may not do things to make me feel special...but see...i feel special every day because you are with me.  i feel very naked when you are not with me....i feel special by you because you have shown me the utmost respect and understanding most guys failed to do.  despite me being a pain in the ass, you are still here.  you have not gone anywhere...i know i can be a lil uptight at times, but you never left me.  you keep trying to make me feel that my insecurities dont matter any more.  no matter what i do, you are still here.  thank you very much babe!!!  i miss you....thinking of you always....

i am happy to say....

i am dating someone now...BUT...there are complications and its pissing me off.  it has nothing to do with him or me...it has to do with the people around us.  its hard to really explain the situation because you never know whos reading.  so just to keep this plain and simple......

STOP BEING NOSY AND LEAVE US ALONE!!!!

if you know me...and you want to know what the haps between me and this guy....call the cell. other than that...i cannot reveal anymore.

all that matters is im happy!!  thats all that matters! as long as i know i have him...and he has me....we are good to go.  Life works its mysterious ways to make you happy!  it has been a month now...and i hope there will be more months ahead of us!  dont worry...when things settle down..you will all see his picture. 

i hope the best for us!!!  i really like this guy!  :o) 

ok...just wanted to let you know i am alive and happy!

woohoo!! a blog! hahahahahaha

time to time...my friends always tell me "chelle, youre too nice....youre too understanding, youre too caring,,,and most of all youre too forgiving".....

sometimes i would have to think to myself...what the hell?  isnt that a good thing?  the answer is...sometimes yes...MAJORITY of the time NO....i am sure every has people backstabbed you one too many times.  yea well that seems to be a theme in my life....whether i like someone...or wanted to be friends with someone.  just last night...i finally realized what my friends meant...i know i can be understanding in many ways...and be caring...and all that....but all i ask is...dont take advantage of me.  i am who i am...but i will not tolerate of getting hurt again...and again...and again...and i am not talking about guys...i am talking in general.  there are friends who backstabbed me before....there are guys who backstabbed me before....and damn it f*ckin hurts!  do i have to be a bitch to keep all of you?  i dont think so.  i am who i am...and i love who i am.  if you cannot accept me for WHO I AM...then dont bother.  if i notice this is goin to be a pattern...i will end it.  again i will not tolerate it anymore.  shiet...FOR THE LAST TIME...i gave this guy a chance...and what happened....HE F*CKED UP AGAIN...i gave this guy one too many chances.  and you know what...it dont matter...cuz thats it.  i am not gonna be too forgiving next time (not with him at least)...i dont talk to him ne more.  i have no need to.  i just hope that...whoever wants to be in my life understands this....i know how it is to have other prior engagements...or whatever....but be respectful enough to fill me in!  some of you may know what i am talking about..some dont. 

ok...just had to vent a lil...hahahaha have a nice sunday!!